Is
Your Teenager Hanging With A Bad Crowd?
 Don't
like some of your teenager's friends ... don't expect to like all your
teen's friends. After all, do you like all your friends' children?
Accept
teens 'try out' friends in the same way that they 'try out' fashions,
lifestyles and even values in their search for a new adult identity. Avoid
over-reacting and take comfort from the fact that many teen friendships
are transitory!
Get
to know your teen's friends...
... don't exclude them
You can't hold an opinion about somebody you don't know, as your teenager
will be only too quick to tell you. Encourage your teen to hang out with
friends at home. Get to know them and understand what your teen sees in
them. It's easier to keep an eye on potential troublemakers when they're
under your own roof.
Don't
sweat the small stuff...
... base decisions on facts, not emotions
Try to keep feelings out of the picture
and avoid unsubstantiated judgments. It will only annoy your teen and
send him off complaining to his friends. Look past superficial images
to the people they really are. You may find that you like them. Accept
experimentation when things don't really matter; hair colour and body
piercings are easily reversible. Be firm on rules that are important to
you, like courtesy and consideration in the home.
Avoid
criticism and keep communication open
Your teenager views criticism as an attack
on his own judgment and may resort to secrecy to keep you off his back.
Try to initiate positive discussion about your child's general social
life and interests. This can also be a good time to subtly encourage other
social opportunities such as part-time work or extracurricular activities.
Above all, make sure your teen understands that
you are always available to talk about concerns and provide non-judgemental
advice. It's the best way to keep track of small problems before they
turn into major issues. If facts truly point to a potentially harmful
situation, seek expert advice on an appropriate course of action.
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