Beat
The Bickering Between Teenage Siblings
Do your children squabble all the time? Is it driving you mad? How
can you stop it?
It's
unlikely that anyone will get hurt but they're not the only ones who get
wound up by their constant needling and bickering. It's so irritating
for innocent bystanders!
You're
on a yellow card!
Give them a warning that if they don't play together peacefully - or at
least quietly - then you will stop the game. The football metaphor, 'You're
on a yellow card!' is a graphic way to issue a warning and works particularly
well with boys. Fear of the subsequent 'red card' and 'sending off' may
just be enough to stop them bickering.
'If
you're going to squabble, go outside'
Bickering and squabbling often bothers the listener more than the antagonists.
Faced with low-level warfare of the most irritating kind, try moving the
battlefield to somewhere where you can't hear them. As long as you're
sure than no one will get hurt, this solves your problem.
Separate
them
If the bickering starts again, separate them. If they can't play together,
they'll have to play alone. Each will claim to be delighted at this prospect,
but playing alone is seldom as much fun as playing with someone else.
They now have an incentive to sort things out between themselves.
Let
them solve their own problems
If you want them to sort out the cause of the problem, different tactics
are required. Tell them they have a certain amount of time to get the
matter sorted, after which you'll take away the toy, turn off the television
or remove whatever is causing the disagreement. The best long-term solution
to squabbling and bickering is to help your children develop their own
ways of settling their differences. Reaching a compromise provides excellent
lessons in negotiating and problem solving. When the agreement breaks
down - as it undoubtedly will - make them go back and work things out
again.
Life skills
Conflict and disagreements are facts
of life. When peace finally breaks out between brothers and sisters, it's
because they have used problem solving and negotiation skills instead
of fighting. These will be very useful when they have to deal with other
children at school and in the peer group.
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