Teenage bullying should be taken seriously - it can lead to serious violence and depression. Bullying can range from malicious gossip to name calling, threats or hitting. Bullies often rob their victims.

Teenagers often feel that being bullied is a sign of their own weakness and may try to keep it a secret.

Be alert for clues. These may include lost money or possessions, frequently torn, muddy or lost clothing and unexplained bruises or scratches.

Your teen may also become withdrawn and depressed. She may be 'too sick' to go to school and schoolwork may deteriorate.

Talk about what's happening
If she seems reluctant to volunteer information, lead into the subject by talking about problems you had yourself as a teen. Try to get a clear picture of what is happening, including specific incidents.

Tell her that it's not her fault but is rather a sign of the bully's own weakness. Don't dismiss her fears - they may be valid - but try to keep calm. Reassure her that help is available and that no one should suffer bullying alone.

Problem-solve with your teen
Depending on the severity of the situation, your teen may be able to deal with the situation without involving teachers. Listen to her and discuss strategies.

Would staying close to friends or teachers at school be helpful? Could she walk home with a group of friends? Has she tried to be friendly with the bully? If so-called 'friends' are the culprits, is she better off without them?

Even if doesn't produce a solution, a brainstorming session like this can give you a much clearer picture of the problems your teen is facing.

Involve the school
Impress upon your teen that direct confrontation with the bully is not a safe option. If other measures have failed, you will need to involve the school. Most schools have an anti bullying policy and your first point of call should be the head teacher. Take written notes to the meeting about specific problems your teen is facing. Tell them you would like your teen's name kept confidential.

Don't let the school give you the brush-off!
Give the school a chance to come up with solutions, but make it clear that action has to be taken - and quickly. Tell the teacher that you will get a doctor's note to keep your teen out of school until the matter has been resolved.

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