Is
Your Teen Emotionally Ready For University?
The move to university is an opportunity for a teen to finally 'try
out' the independent life he has been clamouring for without actually
having to leave the family for good.
However,
this meeting of dreams with reality can also bring considerable fears
and doubts. Watch for these conflicting emotions in your teen and offer
reassurance and support.
Listen
- pick up on the signals
Few teens want to admit that they are anxious about leaving home, so discuss
the challenges of university in general terms. Give him room to talk without
exposing his own vulnerability. Try to pick up on his main areas of concern.
He may be nervous about meeting so many new people and afraid he won't
make friends. He may also be concerned that he won't be able to cope academically.
Acknowledge that the first few weeks may be stressful as well as exciting
and help him to problem-solve in preparation for this.
Many
students start university and are unsure about the precise nature of the
course they have signed up for. They may make a wrong choice. These choices
are not irreversible. If they don't like the course, remind your teen
that the university staff are always available to discuss issues like
this and that it is always possible to change.
Help
your teen prepare emotionally and practically
A few favourite posters and personal items will make his room feel more
like home. Help him draw up a budget and discuss ways he can stretch it.
Talk about the increased need for self-discipline in study habits and
share ideas for scheduling work and leisure time. Friends or relatives
who are already in university could help and advise.
Show
confidence in your teen
Try to hide your own anxiety about your teen's move from home. Instead,
express confidence in his ability to meet new challenges. Don't pretend
there won't be any hurdles, but reassure him that they won't be insurmountable.
Remind him that whether he needs advice or just wants to talk over a problem,
you are always just a phone call away.
Stay in touch
Even if it's an easy trip home, your
teen may settle into university life more quickly if he stays away from
home for the first few weeks. Keep in close contact through phone calls
and e-mail. When you talk, continue to listen carefully and take your
lead from him, providing reassurance and support where he needs it. Don't
forget the magic of a 'care package' sent from home! Tuck in notes from
family and friends along with favourite snacks and other treats .
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