Not only can undoing a label bring about better behaviour, it's good for your child's confidence and self-image.

A child who is labelled is often reminded of how 'true' the label is. Parents can help undo the insidious effects of labelling by recalling the occasions when the label wasn't correct.
If your child says, 'I can't get up by myself in the morning!' remind him that on holiday or at his friend's house, he gets up by himself without any problem at all!

Set a good example
Be a role model for your children but don't make it obvious you are setting yourself up as an example. For example, say matter-of-factly, 'I don't feel like clearing up now but it has to be done, so I'd better get on with it.' Just say and do it, without meaningful looks in his direction!

Tell him that you don't like it
When your son acts 'lazy', tell him how you feel and what you expect. Be firm and assertive. Don't talk about what he is (lazy). Talk about what you feel and tell him what you expect.

So, instead of saying 'You're such a lazy good for nothing!' say, 'I don't like the fact that I have to ask you over and over again, to come and help me. I expect you to come when I ask you.'

Show a little faith
Don't keep telling him how lazy he is and don't act as if you think he's lazy. If you ask him to clear his things away, wait for him to do it himself. Don't get irritated and do it yourself. Expect good behaviour and sooner or later good behaviour will follow. For example, ask him when (not if) he will be able to help you in the garden. Assume that he will get himself up in the morning, by calling him once only. If he doesn't get up and he is late for school, then let him take the consequences.

This course of action is tough. It may seem easier to do it yourself rather than wait for him to do it. You may feel guilty about letting him take the consequences, like being late for school, but there is no gain without pain. It will eventually pay off to the benefit of both of you. Your son cannot expect that other people will always do things for him, and the place to learn that lesson is at home.

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