All children will fight with their siblings at some stage. When stepchildren are involved, the likelihood of arguments goes sky-high. There's just so much more to fight about.

While a parent and new partner have steadily built up an emotional bond, children from the two families have not fallen in love with each other. The closeness demanded in a shared household comes suddenly for them and may not be welcome.

Understand your teen's feelings
In stepfamilies, the stresses of ordinary family life are multiplied, especially in the early days. A new stepbrother or stepsister can be seen as an invader, especially if they move into a child's family home. Stepsiblings come together with different expectations, family habits and rules. Jealousy can erupt over issues of space, possessions, age differences and the inevitable rivalry for parents' love. Until a new way of living together develops these conflicts are almost inevitable.

A ready-made target
Teenagers have busy lives and a growing burden of responsibilities. Built-up tension must be released, and this often happens at home. A stepsibling - the resident enemy - is an easy target for attack in these situations.

Accept it!
You chose your partner. Your children did not choose your partner's kids! If you've ever shared a house, remember how difficult flatmates can be? And you usually have some say in choosing a flatmate.

Work on getting them to live together in peace
Listen to both sides, not only your child's. When you think you've understood what is at the basis of their (probably mutual) dislike, call a family meeting to discuss the situation. The most important thing here is to ban all name-calling, criticising and other negative behaviour. Insist that since they live under the same roof, they must find a way of living together. Get them to list the things that cause the most friction. Ask them to choose the 2 or 3 that cause most arguments to find ways of resolving the problem.

Present a united front
Despite your natural inclinations, you and your partner must at all costs avoid getting drawn into the conflict. Though you may act as impartial referees, the onus is on them to resolve their differences.