After a painful separation, it's important for teenagers to stay in touch with both parents.

Sadly, most break-ups leave each partner with a lot of anger and resentment against the other.

Mixed messages?
The 'wronged' parent may feel secretly vindicated by their teen's rejection of their partner and it can be tempting to capitalise on this partisan attitude.

That's human nature, but try for your teenager's sake to resist the impulse. If you want them to re-establish their relationship with their other parent, be very careful about how you speak about your ex in front of them.

What to do
State explicitly what you want. Say that you want them to make it up with their parent. Discourage them from saying critical things about your ex and stress that they don't have to prove their love for you by taking sides.

Make it clear to them that although you and your partner have split up, you appreciate their underlying feelings for the other parent are still the same.

Whatever your ex's faults, he or she is still your children's father or mother. What happened between you is just between the two of you, so make sure your teenagers know you believe it is important for them to have a relationship with both of their parents.