If your teenager seems very low, should you be worried?

Is it 'just his age' or has your teenager got a real problem? What are the warning signs parents should look for, why do teens feel this way, and when should you call in the professionals?

Know where it's coming from
Adolescence is difficult for many youngsters. As your son develops into an adult he undergoes intense changes - both physical and emotional.

With the changes come worries; what kind of a person am I? do people like me? will I find a girl friend? Am I too fat, too thin? Will I pass my exams? Will I get a good job? And many more.

Many teenagers look around and imagine that everyone else is managing much better than they are, has more friends, is better looking, more popular etc. Though generally untrue, this may add to your son's feelings of inadequacy. Nearly all teenag ers experience periods of feeling low. In most cases, these feelings soon pass.

Some teenagers react strongly to situations adults find easier to handle, like breaking up with a girlfriend, quarrelling with a friend or failing exams. Adults know from experience that things usually get better but adolescents often believe the pain will never end.

Occasional moods or 'bad days' are no cause for alarm. However, it's important to take your teenager seriously. Don't dismiss his pain as excessive or just a phase. Don't try to tease or jolly him out of it. It's very real to him. Listen and offer caring, loving support.

The warning signs of depression
Look out for physical symptoms such as insomnia and eating disorders. Other signs are, neglecting their appearance, not wanting to get up, staying in their bedroom all day, weeping and avoiding the company of family and friends. Behaviour such as drug abuse, truancy, violence or petty theft can also be a sign that your child is depressed. A serious talk (not a lecture) may deal with the problem but seek expert help if repeated incidents happen.

You know your son. Constant or bouts of severe depression requires professional help. Your doctor may recommend counselling, psychotherapy or anti-depressants.

Know when to ask for help
Take suicide attempts or suicidal thoughts very seriously. Trust your instincts. Don't dismiss a 'cry for help'. This is the act of an unhappy and desperate child. If your son talks about killing themselves or seems despairing, you must act immediately. Seek professional help.

• Are Your Teenager's Mood Swings Normal?
• Your Teen's Emotions: Loss Of Confidence