Is honesty the best policy? If you used drugs as a student, should you share your experiences with your teenagers? Raisingkids.co.uk's guest expert, drugs counsellor Melissa Baxter, offers some advice.

Raisingkids member's problem
My daughter is 14 and has started asking awkward questions about drugs. I have to admit that, along with the majority of my friends, I smoked marijuana and occasionally dabbled in stronger substances when I was at university. If I tell my child that I took drugs when I was a teenager, will it make her feel that she can trust me? I don't want her to think I'm a hypocrite.

Melissa's advice
I wouldn't recommend this approach, and if you do decide to bring out stories of your misspent youth, think it over carefully in advance and judge your child's ability to understand your use.

A teenager will not necessarily judge their own drug use by what you did in the past. Some teenagers may think a parent's admission of drug use is a 'green card' and most young people will store the knowledge up to use against you in a future argument. It's natural for teenagers to go against their parents - discussing your own drug experiences is a dangerous gamble.

Your own experience is NOT what your child is doing now, no matter how up-to-date you think you are - our 'norm' is not theirs. You can empathise with your teenager without needing to say you did the same thing.

A few tips for talking about drugs to teenagers:

• Begin with a non-judgemental attitude.
  
  
• Don't push your child but be open and receptive.
  
  
• Don't try to share your experiences and don't assume you know all the issues involved e.g. you may have smoked pot as a teenager but nowadays 'skunk' - a much stronger version grown from specially cultivated seeds - is more common. 15 years ago, smoking pot was likely to make you giggly, hungry and perhaps slightly dizzy whereas skunk is more likely to cause hallucinogenic effects, and carries a bigger risk of anxiety, panic and paranoia.
  
  
• Remember it's normal for teenagers to experiment, whether in terms of music, sports or drugs.
  
  
• Many young people don't want to talk to their parents about drugs but will talk to other people - try to see this normal teenage behaviour rather than rejection.
  
  
• Make sure your children know where to go for information.
  
  
• Talk about legal drugs as well as illegal ones - smoking, alcohol, caffeine (especially energy drinks like Red Bull) and diet pills.
  
  
• Drug counsellors use 5 key questions when discussing a client's experience: What? Why? When? Where? How?
  
  
• Drug services do not just offer help to teenagers, they are also there for parents who need support and will be happy to answer any of your questions or offer suggestions about tackling difficult topics.

If a serious problem ever develops, remember that it will always be down to more than drugs. It will not necessarily be down to parents either! Look out for early signs that something is bothering your child - it could be a problem with school, friends, his/her environment, or even your teenager's mental disposition.

Keep in mind that you can offer advice and support to a young person but they may not accept it. Some encouraging research has shown that when they feel they need help, most young people will go to the person who offered that help in the first place.

If you want to talk about drugs with your child, well done! Communication and an open attitude is vital and ideally I'd suggest beginning to discuss some of the issues when your child is still relatively young (perhaps before they go up to senior school).