Does your teenager sulk if you don't buy her everything she asks for?

Her friends get everything they want, including all the latest labels. She HAS to have them, too. Does she? Will you be a bad parent if you make her go without? A bad parent if you let her have it all? It's one of today's stickiest parenting issues.

Understand her 'wants'
Teens are afraid of sticking out and looking different from their friends. Unfortunately, some of these fears can be justified. Labels or clothing styles are a sign of belonging to the peer group. 'Outsiders' are sometimes picked on or even bullied. This is tough on you, if you don't have the money or if you object to this materialism on principle.

Discuss the issues
Harness her developing interest in abstract thinking and have an adult conversation about the issues surrounding designer gear. Talk about what makes brands seem so cool. Discuss peer pressure and the feelings of 'belonging' that a 'uniform' provides. Talk about consumerism. Ask how she feels about being a walking advertisement for a company's product. Does she think people are being manipulated? Is individuality being lost? Remind her that someone with all the latest clothes can still be boring - personality matters more. This conversation can easily descend into preaching, so listen more than you talk.

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