My
Teenager, The Computer Geek! Is It Healthy?
Your teenagers spend every day on the computer, they don't know the
gender of their best friends, they try and enter their password to use
the microwave and only venture out to buy more CD-rom games.
They LOL - or even ROTFL - at suggestions they
limit the amount of time spent online.
Is
your wish to 'limit the amount of time' really about time spent on the
computer or about something else? Sort out in your own mind exactly what
it is that you object to.
Underlying
concerns
Perhaps you're worried because he doesn't go out enough and is becoming
isolated. Are you concerned about the content of Internet sites or the
violence in computer games? Is he perhaps cutting himself off from the
family and spending long periods of time shut up in his room? Is his schoolwork
suffering as a consequence?
Is
it because he feels isolated or insecure?
Many adolescent boys and girls go through a period when they spend a lot
of time in their room reading, playing computer games or listening to
music. It doesn't mean they are insecure or that they don't have friends.
It generally occurs in early to mid-teens when they are too young to go
out alone but feel increasingly independent of the family. This phase
passes when the peer group becomes socially active and then the problem
becomes one of too much, rather than too little, sociability.
If your teenager doesn't have friends he talks
about or if no one phones and he never goes out, then you may have a problem.
Talk to him. You can't force your way into his emotional life, but you
can be available when he needs to talk, and he may well let you in.
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