Everyone uses music to express themselves. It's just that you'd prefer your teenager not to express herself so loudly.

For adolescents, music is an important way of relating to their friends and finding out what they like. 'I don't like her music... but I hear it all day long!' Does this sound familiar?

Times they are a-changin'
Tastes in music are always changing. While it may sound alien to you, it sounds good to your daughter and her friends. Tastes in music play a big part in teenage life, often determining what they do, where they go and who they spend time with. Take an interest in her music and ask her who the bands or singers are. Don't expect her to be thrilled by your interest, but you may get some credit for not condemning without even listening.

She is also looking for influences outside the family. Musicians and pop stars can be important role models. Take an interest. You will understand her better if you know more about the other influences she is getting. You may be shocked by the lyrics of some pop music. In this case, discuss with her the violent and misogynistic views expressed there.

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