Massage is a safe, natural way to lull a restless baby to sleep. Aromatherapy expert Jenni Simmonds explains.

Raisingkids member's question
I'm finding it hard to get my 9 month-old baby settled in the evening. She seems to get very fractious and clingy as bedtime approaches and it stresses me out, too. Can you suggest anything to help?

Jenni Simmond's reply
Times have changed for the better, and parents these days are far less inhibited about hugging and cuddling their children than they were a generation ago. But it is still surprising how little we use the more formal arts of touch and healing to help children chill out.

If you've ever had a proper professional therapeutic massage, you'll know that the way you feel afterwards is like being in a blissful foreign country – the mundane hassles and headaches of everyday life recede and evaporate. It’s certainly an improvement on barbiturates.

If sleep itself has become a dream for you, massaging the baby-insomniac could help you both.

In some countries, massaging babies is a routine part of childcare, and many mothers who've tried it here report better sleep patterns and less colic and fretting. Paediatric research also shows that premature babies progress faster when regularly massaged.

You don't need to be an expert, or to have massage training. Just start very gently, get to know what the child responds to, and take it from there. As you get more confident and relaxed, this will transmit to your baby.

Try to do the massage at roughly the same time each day, so it becomes a routine preliminary to sleep, and don't attempt it if the baby is hungry, or straight after feeding. The room should be very warm. You may find it easiest to carry out the massage with your legs outstretched on the floor, and your baby lying on them.

If using oils, make sure these are warm, and don’t use adult oils likely to cause allergies (see aromatherapy for children). Hypoallergenic baby oil is best. Start stroking outwards from the centre of the body and repeat each stroke three times.

And for the bigger ones? You (and your child) may not feel comfortable about a full-body massage for older children, but a back massage at bedtime can work wonders with an anxious or fidgety child.

Parents often lose touch with the cuddly side of childcare once children turn into teenagers – which is a shame, because teens are often extremely tense and anxious. Embarrassment may be a problem at this age, but you could offer them a nice shoulder-rub to ease tension when they've been bent over their books all night.

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• Find out more at www.jsaromatherapy.co.uk