Should you give up work if your baby cries when you leave them with the childminder?

Babies cry because they would rather be with Mum than with anyone else. This doesn't mean your baby can't be happy with the childminder. With a warm and sensitive carer most children will settle quickly.

Be sure of your choice of carer
You're bound to be upset when your child cries. Infants don't like to see Mum leaving, but once you've gone, they should settle quickly with a loving carer.

If you know your baby only cries for a few minutes as you're leaving, you can relax. But if you're worried that your child is genuinely distressed, ask the childminder how long the crying goes on after you leave.

Trust your gut feeling
If you suspect the crying is prolonged (and maybe you worry that no one is offering comfort), ask yourself if you really have confidence in the carer. If your baby's in a nursery, ask another parents who arrives later if your child seems happy by the time they get there. If you have any doubts at all, don't ignore them.

Helpful hints
Don't rush through the morning routine. It will make both of you feel tense. Organise as much as you can the night before. Leave enough time in the morning to do everything as calmly as possible.

When you arrive at the childminder's, take time to settle your child in. Don't just do a hasty hand-over then rush off.

Take time to say goodbye but don't prolong the farewells, especially if the crying starts. Little 'goodbye' rituals get your baby adjusted to the idea that you're leaving. When you return, 'hello' rituals confirm that you'll always come back.

If all else fails...
Some babies take more time to adapt to new situations, and children develop at different speeds. It's not a competition. If your instincts say your baby is genuinely miserable, you're allowed to rethink your childcare arrangements if you want to. A temporary change of plan might make both you and your baby feel better.

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